“Some College” by Mayer L.

Dropping out of college was a major decision in my life that helped me grow up and develop as a person. Unfortunately, the words “some college” are toxic to an online dating profile, or in a recommendation from a personal reference.

At the very least, girls that I have dated cite my education level as a main reason for breaking up with me, and it's highly likely that it's a contributing factor to many saying “no” even before we even meet. I'd like to share my experiences with you, starting from what college was like for me.

I came into college expecting that it would offer me a broad education, exposing me to new ideas that would prepare me for life. After a semester of seeing an overwhelming majority of my classmates working for the grade, I became pretty disinterested in the system. And I felt completely unfulfilled in my role as a student.

Outside of my major, the core curriculum classes I took were pretty much on par with the level of study I had in high school. Even though I was miserable, I couldn't think of any other alternative. College is something everyone needs to do, right?

And then, in the fall of 2011, I had an idea that changed my life: If I'm failing many classes and feeling awful all the time, maybe I can get a job that would be more fulfilling to me!

I took a part-time job at a music store selling guitars. Although it wasn't a great job, I was pretty good at sales, and... I felt good about it! I was able to help guide people towards purchasing the gear they needed, while making money for myself and the company I worked for. In fact, when January 2012 came around, I was offered a full time position.

I didn't register for the next semester of classes.

I was 23 at that point, and it was around then that I started dating. Although I did find dates, and enjoyed many of them, my lack of an incomplete college degree seemed to be a strike against me in the eyes of many girls. After two-and-a-half years of hustling in the retail environment to earn commission, I landed a better sales position at a different company. Although this position paid better, and allowed me to learn new skills, it didn’t seem to reassure suitors of my intellect or competence enough to allow them to fully overlook my incomplete degree.

Leaving school and getting a job enabled me to feel competent, secure, and in control of my circumstances for the first time in years. I started paying my own rent, and paying off my debt, instead of accruing more. I began spending my time doing something of value to me, instead of trying to satisfy some professor’s expectations. That decision improved things for me in so many ways, but it reads pretty badly on paper---and has been an obstacle in my dating life.

Four years have passed since I last attended college, and in the world of Jewish dating, I still feel that I’m undesirable. (I once had someone tell me after three or four dates that education is important to her, and that “having a college degree is something I expect in a future spouse.”)

Have you ever been rejected because of your education level, or have you ever refused to date someone because of theirs? I would urge you to be more open-minded to meeting people regardless of their academic credentials. After all, there’s more than one path to wisdom, success, and preparation for the infinite challenges that lie ahead.

And, as we all know, there are just some things you’ll never learn inside a classroom.