I’m often asked what motivated me to start Breakthrough. (Sometimes, if the bags under my eyes are dark enough, this query takes the form of, “Are you nuts?!”)
Depending on who’s asked, how much time we both have to spare, and on my mood at the moment--I’ll give them either the long or the short version of the Breakthrough story. Both include the Divine Intervention that led me to meet relationship expert Leonard Carr in the summer (a.k.a. South African winter) of 2012 in the midst of a serious-relationship-gone-sour, at which point his timely and sage advice was both life-saving and perception-altering in so many ways. Couple that paradigm shift with my continuous struggle to find Mr. Right, and voila! It was a recipe for some major soul-searching which (unbeknownst to me at the time) planted the seeds for Breakthrough.
In the end, what ultimately prompted me to create Breakthrough, perhaps, was the staunch realization that there was a serious lacking of real, substantive resources for singles like me who sought out opportunities for genuine growth in relationships. While there was an abundance of “singles events” (---the ones I attended usually felt like a social experiment gone awry---), and some classes given specifically for singles (which were moderately informative at best and at worst, downright insulting), neither of those were quite what my soul was thirsting for. And, judging by my still-ringless ring-finger, they clearly weren’t getting me married, either.
Not surprisingly, it seemed nearly all my single friends felt the same way---left to their own devices, wondering incessantly what’s gone wrong in their dating and how to fix it.
Why aren’t we meeting Mr. (or Mrs.) Right? What’s holding us back? Why do we feel so stuck? Why do our dates seem like a dead-end road to nowhere?
So many painful questions. Mounting levels of frustration. No answers to be found.
I was especially disappointed that, in the observant Jewish community, where so many efforts were being made to solve “the problem” of a growing population of older singles, none of the attempted solutions I’d seen (which mostly focused on numbers and gender age gaps) were addressing the real underlying issues that singles were feeling inside, or even discussing amongst themselves.
Determined to find better options, I consulted with Leonard Carr, whose brilliant vision for relationships and passion for human potential are reflected in his Appreciative Personality approach. From countless hours of conversation over the course of many months, it became pretty clear what needed to be done.
It was time to re-direct, in any way we could, the general dating trajectory of singles everywhere. (Or at the very least, we had to try.)
So after hundreds of hours of thinking, researching, drafting, pitching, re-thinking, re-writing, working, laughing, crying, and working some more, Breakthrough was born. (Due to widespread interest and the broader application of its foundational concepts, Breakthrough offers many programs that cater to couples, professionals, and organizations as well.)
These past 6 months since we launched have not been easy---to put it mildly. (I’m still trying to acclimate to this crazy whirlwind of sleep deprivation and Google Drive chaos that has ensued.) But every time someone tells me they’ve gained clarity in a relationship, had a great date, or feel better about themselves because of a Breakthrough program they attended, it gives me a fresh burst of energy and reminds me why I started this project in the first place.
So when it’s 3am and I’m still at my laptop searching for the perfect web template or outlining a new program idea, I take a deep breath, relax, and try to remind myself how lucky I am…
that G-d gave us coffee. And I drink LOTS of it. Because as our Sages tell us, “Kol hatchalot kashot - All beginnings are hard.” And since I’m truly committed to the mission of Breakthrough, well-rested or not, I’m in it for the long-haul.
Starbucks, anyone?
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